Jill Ebstein: Why I Wrote Coming of Age at Forty
Indie Author Insights Behind the Book
Why I Wrote Coming of Age at Forty by
The world is rich with topics writers can choose to write about and I’m guessing that coming of age for a middle-aged single mom is not a popular topic. So why did I do it? I think it has a lot to do with my being 67 and wondering what’s ahead. Can we continue to grow and evolve at every age?
I’ve always loved coming of age stories but usually they focus on young adults who brave a significant challenge and now see themselves differently in relation to their world. They’re more mature and maybe even humbled.
But is this even possible when your protagonist is forty? What might Ellie, Alfred’s mom, discover that will have a profound effect on her going forward? Now Ellie is smart. She’s an excellent mom to Alfred. She has strong instincts to guide her. But what isn’t she? She isn’t very open regarding her own life. She looks ahead and thinks about Alfred heading off to college and her mom continuing to age. And she becomes withdrawn. She asks herself, “Is this all there is?”
It’s time for Ellie to see that no there is more. And it begins with Ellie looking inward to find her own strength. To do that she will need to process some long repressed traumas.
Ellie agrees to Alfred’s request to find a coach and write in a journal. She goes ahead and buys the journal, but there is sits and sits and sits. Now, Alfred notices this and finally asks why. Now Alfred notices this and finally asks why. Ellie says it’s like this. I’ve got some old sores, but now they’re scabs and I’m not sure I want to pick at them. It will make them bleed all over again.
Alfred responds, “Mom, you’re smart so I know that you know the problem with what you just said. They’re not healed and that’s why I said you’re fine but you could be doing better. The difference between the two if I’m going to use your words, is the scabs. They need to be looked at. Otherwise, they’ll stay being scabs and you’ll stay being good and I don’t think you want to stay being good if great is a possibility.”
And so, this is why I chose to write this adult coming of age story. We all have scabs and maybe we don’t pay them sufficient mind. We all deserve the opportunity to be and feel as great as Alfred says.
So come, hop on board and see what we can learn from Ellie’s digging. Scabs are a start but there is more. And in the process Ellie becomes deeper and more insightful with more to give and take from her world.
